Minecraft and Donuts is a minecraft channel with Will and Sophie. We are two British people making minecraft videos... need i say more?
Please click one of the navigation buttons to get started
Tannoy: The train now standing at platform/ 3/ is the 15:57 first capital connect service to/ London Victoria/ Calling at/ Three Bridges/ Gatwick Airport/ East Croydon/ Clapham Junction and/ London Victoria. This is coach number 3/ of 4.
(Jacob, Claire and James enter the train at the same time.)
(Jacob takes a seat and places the bag down next to him)
James: (Disgruntled) The cheek of some people!
(Claire quickly glances at James then quickly looks away when eye contact is made)
James: I mean that was the last seat on the train.
James: He doesn't need two seats! I mean, he hasn't got any special-
Claire: (Interrupting) You, know I was on a train, not a week ago, and there was this man on the train already. As soon as I got on he stood up and instantly gave me his seat. There was no-one else on the train so it wasn't exactly necessary but he still walked off and I got his seat. He even gave me his bag! He came back not only a minute later and told me that he had 'Gone to the toilet' and I should 'Stop stealing his personal items' HA! I only took fifty quid and his medication! The cheek.
James: Look at him, listening to music.
Claire: Who does he think he is?
James: I bet he doesn't even play any instruments.
Claire: We should kill him.
Claire: So... Where are you going?
James: Oh, just to three bridges.
Claire: (Starts laughing manically)
(James starts to nervously shuffle away)
James: Maybe we should just push his bag off! You know, kick it.
Claire: Are you sure? He looks dodgy. He could have a knife. Or a gun!
James: I think... No, I’m gonna shove it.
(James begins to walk towards him)
Tannoy: We are now approaching/ Three Bridges
James: Oh, damn. That's my stop. Got to run!
(James grabs his bag and moves runs towards the door and starts rapidly pressing the button whilst grumbling under his breath)
(The door slides open and James runs off)
Ethan: HOLD THE DOOR!
(Claire hears him but refuses to hold the door)
Ethan: Damn! No seats!
Claire: I know.
Ethan: Why do people do this sort of thing?
Claire: Yeah, we've already talked about this...
Claire: The last guy.
Tannoy: The train now standing at platform/ 4/ is the 16:04 first capital connect service to/ London Victoria/ Calling at/ Gatwick Airport/ East Croydon/ Clapham Junction and/ London Victoria. This is coach number 3/ of 4.
Ethan: You know him?
Ethan: The last guy on the train.
Claire: Nah, we just both share a common interest.
Ethan: Oh, really? What is it?
Claire: We both think that man should die.
Ethan: That's a bit extreme isn't it-?
Claire: (Snappy) No.
Ethan: I work.
Ethan: Yeah, at a flower shop actually. Cuttingham Flowers.
Claire: Oh. Is that where you're off to now?
Ethan: Yeah, yeah. I run the flower works in Croydon. We got stands in Gatwick, Littlehampton the whole shabang. Yeah... The pay isn't too good but the hours are nice so I can get home to my family... Gee, you don't really notice until you think about it but I've been with my wife for 16 years... All that time I just never had the time to buy her some posies. You know, the nice kind with the huge petals. It's those little things that just...
(Ethan notices Claire isn't listening and is checking her nails. Ethan shuts up and carries on staring at the wall)
Claire: We're gonna be late 'cos of this dick.
Ethan: How does that work?
Claire: The extra weight on the back coaches really slows the train down.
Ethan: I don't think a bag would do all that.
Tannoy: We are now approaching/ Gatwick Airport.
Claire: Well this is where I have the (Air quotes) Sadness of leaving you.
(Claire walks over to the door and waits on the button)
Claire: (Walking off) Yeah, bye, you boring cretin.
Isaac: (Boards train and stumbles around looking for a seat. He is holding some flowers and quite out of breath) Ah, for Pete's sake.
Ethan: No, seats huh?
Isaac: (Looks at Ethan angrily) What does it look like? Jesus. This is how my life is gonna end then?
Ethan: It's not that bad...
Isaac: IT IS “THAT BAD”
Tannoy: The train now standing at platform/ 6/ is the delayed 16:19 first capital connect service to/ London Victoria/ Calling at/ East Croydon/ Clapham Junction and/ London Victoria. This is coach number 3/ of 4.
Ethan: What's with the flowers?
Isaac: (Panting) Oh, these? They're for my girl.
Ethan: Ah, they're nice.
Isaac: Ah, these? They're just the prostitutes of the plant world aren't they?
Ethan: You treating her to a nice dinner then?
Isaac: Yeah... I mean kind of.
Ethan: Well I bet she'll love them
Isaac: Look, just leave me alone okay. I have enough on my plate as it is without a boring tool like you trying to make shallow conversation. Just drop it.
Ethan: I'm just trying to be-
Isaac: Polite? Concerned? Friendly? I've heard them all. You're just the weirdo who can't sit down on the train. I wish this train wasn't delayed then I would of missed it and then never had to endure the discontent of encountering you.
Isaac: (looking at Jacob) MOVE YOUR BAG!
Ethan: (Quietly) He can't hear-
Isaac: I know!
Ethan: (Quietly) With the headpho-
Isaac: I KNOW! Piss off!
Tannoy: We are now approaching/ East Croydon
(Jacob starts quietly humming to the annoyance of Isaac and the curiosity of Ethan)
Isaac: Ah, the bloody flowers are wilting. “Cuttingham is the best” my arse.
Ethan: (Looks up) Actually I run that com-
Tannoy: The train now standing at platform/ 4/ is the delayed 16:39 first capital connect service to/ London Victoria/ Calling at/ Clapham Junction and/ London Victoria. This is coach number 3/ of 4.
Ethan: Oh, this is my stop.
Isaac: (Sarcastically) Oh, what a shame. I sincerely hope you don't fall in-between the gap between the train and the platform, then again your huge head would probably work as a wedge.
(Ethan exits looking quite diminished)
(No-one boards the train)
Isaac: Anyone getting on? Come on, East Croydon, there must be some passengers.
Isaac: Well it's just you and me- (Notices he's got headphones on) Ah.
Isaac: I am actually quite nervous about this whole ordeal... Yeah... I just kind of need someone to talk to, you know, just so I don't feel so diminished. I figure, There's no point in people be upset about things when there's so much happiness in the world today...
Isaac: Like for instance I was dating this wonderful girl, her name was Maurice, I would always tease her that her name sounded like a mule... We got engaged... She planned the entire thing and then left me at the alter. The most embarrassing moment of my life cleansed by “Fix you” by Coldplay. I hate that song.
Isaac: I picked myself up though, yeah. Grabbed my broken little heart and handed it to Cynthia. She was so amazing, apart from being slightly neurotic. Anyway she turned my little squashed grape of a heart and turned it into a friggin' smoothie.
Isaac: I know I can trust this girl now. Her name is Feud. You know like the board game... Family Feud? Anyway we want to start our own family.
(Isaac laughs to himself)
Isaac: I meeting her at Clapham. She's got a small flat there, I've given her some of my money though so she bought herself a nice little house near London Vic... We'll move in together sometime in the week it'll be heaven... You're such a good listener, headphone man.
Tannoy: We are now approaching/ Clapham Junction
Isaac: This is it. Wish me luck
Tannoy: The train now standing at platform/ 8/ is the 16:59 first capital connect service to/ London Victoria/ Calling at/ London Victoria. This is coach number 3/ of 4.
(Jeremy boards the train)
Jeremy: I hate trains... Soooo much.
Jeremy: NO SEATS! For goodness sake! What a prick. No seats all because of that man, makes you notice that the actions of one person can lead to a wave of... of... Who the hell am I talking to?
Feud: HOLD THE DOOR!
(Jeremy notices Feud but does not hold the door)
Feud: Ah... trains... the most conventional way of blending in.
Jeremy: Why are you so happy?
Feud: I just landed a house near London Vic. And it only cost me... Oh wait... NOTHING! HAHA!
Jeremy: Wow, how did you do that?
Feud: I just told him I loved him.
Jeremy: Oh... You took it off your boyfriend.
Feud: Boyfriend is a... harsh overstatement HAHA! My name's Feud (Puts out hand to shake)
Jeremy: (Looks at hand but doesn't shake) I'm Jeremy.
Feud: (Drops her hand and starts walking around the coach.) This man. (Points at Jacob) Is a dick.
Jeremy: I prefer Prick.
Feud: Prick dick. What should we do to him?
Jeremy: Nothing. Let him occupy space all he wants, that's all he's good for.
Feud: Let's steal his headphones!
Jeremy: How is that going to help anything?
Feud: It will ruin his day!
Jeremy: You really are an idiot aren't you?
(Feud sneaks behind him whilst Jeremy watches in despair and begins to slowly extract the i`Pod from his pocked)
Jeremy: Great what do we do now?
(Feud ignores him and begins to pull out a pair of scissors)
Feud: Oh yes.
(She begins straightening out the wire and finding the perfect place to cut)
Jeremy: This is against the law...
Feud: (Sarcastically) Oh-no. Someone hand me in to the police!
Jeremy: Don't do it.
Feud: Hmmm... I might get electrocuted. Hand me some rubber gloves.
(Jeremy looks around in awe)
Jeremy: Does it look like I should carry rubber gloves?
Feud: Does it look like I should carry scissors?
(Feud is just about to cut the wire when Jeremy pulls her away)
Jeremy: This isn't going to help anyone get the seat is it?
Feud: Can you think of a better way?
Jeremy: Ask him to move?!
Feud: If he put the bag there he obviously doesn't want someone to sit there!
Jeremy: ARGH! What is with this prick?!
Jeremy: Shut-up! It's people like this that make me want to... ARGH!
(Jeremy readies his fist to punch Jacob)
Driver: Yeah, we have a problem with the changing signals down the track near London Victoria so we're going to be stopping for a bit.
Feud: This is your fault.
Jeremy: (Pulls his fist away) My fault? MY FAULT?! If it's anyone's fault it's his!
Feud: Maybe we could distract him? Then we can grab the seat! Make him need the toilet!
Jeremy: (Sarcastically) Oh, yes! Let me pull out my magic piss wand!
Feud: Well that was a nice journey.
Jeremy: They really need to sort the bloody lights out. I'm having an epileptic fit over here.
Feud: Maybe I can fix them.
Jeremy: Oh-no. You've done too much today.
Feud: Lets go for a record shall we?
(Feud pulls out a screwdriver and begins messing with the lights)
(They turn green)
Jeremy: How did you even do that?!
(Feud ignore him and carries on screwing.)
(They turn red)
Jeremy: Okay, just fix them now, Feud.
Feud: Do you want it done quickly or do you want it done right?
(Carries on screwing and they return to white)
Feud: There. Fixed forever.
Jeremy: Didn't you notice it?
Jeremy: The train got a little bit colder.
Feud: Yeah, I did notice that a bit...
(Jeremy pulls out a tissue and begins blowing his nose)
(The lights go out)
(When the lights return Jacob is gone leaving just the bag)